The coffee machine made its accustomed rattling as every morning. A fresh roast poured into the cup, which Paul grabbed and took to the living room. Usually during that part of the day he relaxed due to his activities taking place in the afternoon, so its first hours were tranquil for him. For once it was different. He leaned by the window sipping his coffee, analyzing the last four months. His existence had been easygoing, what with working voluntarily and not out of necessity, as well as having an active social agenda. He couldn't complain, he was privileged. But it had become a drag, doing the same every two or three weeks. There was more to life than artistic events and fancy parties. He was already aware of it, but finally realized it once he met her. There she was, a person who cared not about these matters but gave importance to much simpler details. Someone understanding, who still showed joy for little things others didn't take notice of. Not to mention her disposition towards everything and everyone. She was the purest of innocence, that girl. And yet there was this strange quality about her, a womanly sensuality any man could sense. He knew it well, having that sensation everytime he saw her. No doubt it was the combination of the child-like naïve nature, and the precocious sexual appeal which made her so irresistible. There was that detail as well: her youth. She was really too young for him, and he was very conscious of his own age, which made him consider she probably viewed him as some mischievious elderly. Even with the years that separated them, this feeling was inevitable in him. He couldn't help it, he was besotted ever since the first time he saw her. Knowing her only deepened it.
"And now I don't know what to do." He discussed his uncertainty with Mick when the former visited the latter in his house two weeks later. Left all for himself due to his missus and daughters being absent, he was able to speak freely of that which perturbed his friend. "Right, so you do remember she just turned 26 years old." "Yes yes, I know, that's what hurts me the most, the age difference. It wouldn't be such a problem were she in her forties, or even in her mid thirties, but she's practically a little girl for me. And yet I've fallen madly for that little girl." "But are you sure it's love Paul? She has yet so much to live, you have life experience to spare, basically you're both in different stages. What makes you think a relationship between you is possible?" "She's mature in other aspects. Her personality, her views of life, even her artistic tastes are very grown up. I mean, if you've listened to our conversations you'd notice she's truly an adult. Even if she's such a young girl in every other aspect, she's grown up mentally." "That I don't question it, she knows where she's standing. Now, have you thought of Damon?"
Paul went silent. He hadn't really stopped to consider his sentiments. He knew he felt similarly for her but according to his observations, there was nothing more than a mere platonic relationship, even romantic gestures included. "There's nothing serious between them." "How do you know?" "Melissa hasn't said so, and neither has Damon. Of course, I haven't asked them." "Why? Do you fear they might say yes?" "Well..." "You suspect there's something, right? Problem is, you don't want to admit it. Or rather you don't want to admit you're probably not meant to be." "I hope there's nothing but I don't know..." Another doubt crossed Mick's mind. "Do you even know what she feels for you?" Paul sighed loudly and ellicited the resignated truth: "She sees me only as a friend. And I don't blame her for it. I approached her from the beginning in a friendly manner but eventually my heart beat any logic left in me. And again there's the whole age difference. She's so young for me, I'm too old for her. I'm sure she perceives me as some funny old geezer, especially after the incident on her party. But it was an impulse, really." "I can imagine how she reacted." "Stunned, she didn't even kiss me back." "Again, can you blame her?" "Not really." When Mick finalized voicing his opinion, it was Paul who justified his choice. "If you could see her through my eyes, Mick. She's wonderful in every single way. And she's so beautiful. The way those big eyes of hers lit up when she receives good news, how she smiles at everyone, even her laugh is adorable. And she cares, you know. She's such a good listener, at least with me she is, and supporting with everybody. She's just remarkable, an incredible person..." Mick listened attentively but had a thought: "If it's not love, he certainly has strong feelings for her."
When she saw him in the doorway, the color wiped out of her face. She seriously considered closing the door and leave it at that. Instead she let him in silently. "I'm sorry for coming unexpectedly but I need to talk to you." His pace was aghast, notions that had been troubling him for the last days unable to be delayed anymore. Melissa, on the other hand, did not look so keen at the idea. "Listen, Paul..." "No, please don't say anything yet, at least until you listen to me. I owe you an explanation..." "You don't owe me anything..." "Yes I do, dearest, I've offended you terribly and I'm sorry for that. But at the same time I won't apologize for kissing you. I did it because I love you." Had it not been for her friends' assumptions, this abrupt declaration would've come as a bombshell. His words however, still carried significance for finally being acknowledged by him. "Paul, please..." "No, don't say a word yet. I've had too much on my chest for a long time and I won't stop now." She saw it again, that fixed look directed straight at her. Everytime she saw him with others his eyes were placid, his poise serene; this was not the case so undoubtedly she was the cause for his present uneasiness, making her feel guilty all around. He sat up straight and explained himself thoroughly.
"You mesmerized me from the first instant, when I saw you back in April. You just stood out from the crowd and I couldn't keep my eyes off you. I was glad when I finally met you later that night and rejoiced every second of it, convinced I would never see you again and would become a precious memory with time. Can you imagine what it was seeing you weeks later? Coincidence or not, all I know is it happened for a reason. The more conversations we had, the more my feelings for you became what they're now. Ever since I've been tormenting myself for never opening up to you for fear of being rejected or receiving a mocking remark, which would be even worse than being rejected because I wouldn't stand it, coming from you. Most especially, I observed your fascination for Damon and seeing he was, rather is, quite smitten with you, I chose not to speak, painfully watching how your mutual affection grew everyday. But that night, on your party, I couldn't handle it anymore. Seeing you dance set my heart racing like never before. Then discovering you actually share birthday with Joe, my dear friend...Add to it everything I've felt for the last four months and that was it, you drove me to madness. That's why I kissed you my dear, because my feelings could not be held any longer. And I know what you're thinking, that I'm too old for you but I'd like to think it's not an impediment to have something..." Melissa needed to barge in, to say anything in order to interrupt his loving words. "Paul, it's not just the age difference, there are many things: our ways of thinking, our interests, our upbringings, the fact that your friend Damon, 'cause that's what he is, your friend, is actually interested in me..." "Did he say he loves you?" She reminisced he never expressed those exact words. He said he liked her a lot but nothing more than that. Still his attitudes and actions proved so. "He has shown it." "I have as well, but now I'm saying it..." "Paul, wait. Honestly, why do you wanna get involved with someone like me? I'm lazy, naïve, flawed, and you're the complete opposite of that. I'm so not worth it, you don't need such a loser in your life." "Melissa, I'm not sure you realize how incredible you are. It's precisely that innocence of yours that stole my heart, and I like your intelligence and your way of being. There's no one like you out there, your uniqueness won me over. And yes, you may be very young for me but I don't care, you're amazing all the same and I love you. At this point I couldn't give a flying fuck if the whole world knows it. I don't even care what Damon thinks. All I care for is you, dearest, and I'll do anything to win your heart..." His conversation abruptly ceased, his lips sealed by Melissa's, who found herself so overwhelmed by Paul's candidness something dictated her to do so. He was surprised by her reaction but immediately responded to her kiss, gently grabbing her back while savouring her full, parted lips. All of a sudden she pushed him back, her face the mask of horror. "Holy shit", she exclaimed. "Melissa..." "You should go now. Yes, it's time for you to leave." "What? But honey..." "No Paul, please go." She walked to the door promptly, shoving him out but with no violence. "There's nothing to be ashamed of really..." "Yes there is, please go now, I can't..." She closed the door, turning around and covering her mouth with her finger tips, completely shocked at her impulsiveness. At the other side, Paul stared at the entry, placing his hands over it to anyhow grasp what remained of her on them before exiting the building.